you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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