Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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