We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
