everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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