marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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