my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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