No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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