I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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