I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
