That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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