you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
