question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
