Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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