My hand turned me down
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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