Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
