toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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