i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
