So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
