No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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