Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
