i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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