one two three fourrrrnication!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
