dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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