When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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