Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We talked him into tasing himself.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
