i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
