Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
