Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize