you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
