I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
