You're completely useless in the revolution.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
