my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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