my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
