you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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