nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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