girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
