Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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