She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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