1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
