If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
