Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
