I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
