I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
