There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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