Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
