Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
