all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
