I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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