i just had sex bonerless
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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