New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Text me some of your sweat
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
