The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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