I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
