If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
