Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
