It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
