If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize