last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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