mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
