I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
