Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
