No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
