This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
