I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
