I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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